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always second but never first. always good enough to love but never good enough to be with. always the one they look at but never for too long. always the one they touch but never the one they hold on to. always the one they talk to but never with words of truth. always a good idea but without any execution. always second. never first.
And what else is there to do after someone tells you that they don’t love you any more except fall apart with the moon and put yourself back together when the sun comes up?
No matter how many times you replay the whole timeline in your head, you’re never going to be able to pinpoint the exact moment it went wrong. Rereading months of text messages isn’t going to give you any clarity, or make it any easier. You won’t get answers out of his friends, or his horoscope, or the pictures he’s liking on his phone. Sometimes you have to tell yourself it’s not something you did, or didn’t do, and there’s nothing you could have done differently, and it’s not because you were too much to handle, nor is it because you weren’t enough. And then you have to just let go, because it’s all you can do.
